Friday, November 18, 2005

雪だ! It's snowing!

It's been snowing most of the day now, really starting to look like winter. I like how the snow makes it look a bit brighter.

This is something I wrote a couple of days ago, when I was feeling a bit down. I left it a bit uncompleted and didn't feel like posting it at the time (it was like 3 AM). I fixed the intro very slightly, but otherwise it's pure nightly drivel.

"I've felt pretty boring lately, like I'm not doing enough to actively interact with other people. Completely boring and void of personality. Which lead me to wonder what is it that makes personality?

"I've always been a shy person (or at least since ca. year 11 onwards) and that shyness has sort of grown in and incorporated as a general quietness and hesitation toward new people.

"It feels a bit as if I've lost touch of the 'original' me and I'm now drifting around aimlessly, searching for some meaning. I think the feeling might have something to do with the (Japanese) history (before 1868) that we got to see the results for yesterday; you might remember that I thought it went pretty well, but in reality I passed with only a margin of only a couple of points. Seeing all the red colour from the corrections made me wonder if it's expected, or wished for, that we learn all of this history well enough to give 100% accurate dates of any event asked of us.

"Whatever line of work you choose it feels like it would demand of your full dedication to it. There is no room for Jack-of-all-trades or renaissance people, only those who have specialized in that one thing, which they then use to bring food to the table, or rather, money in the bank, until they retire or are replaced with automated machines."


Ainu said...

At least we passed it (the history exam)!

I was stupid and thought that I could gather information (numbers) from other sources too. Of course, I should have based my writing solely to Tradition and Transformation... I liked the history too much and forgot to put "abouts" in the front of the numbers.

Next time we'll try harder! I don't want to see so much red on the paper either!! And... Oh, I don't know if I can like Elomaa-sensee some day. So professional. I so easily trust my intuition and I give up when times get rough.

Awful lot of reading to do, if you really want to know and be sure of something...

Ainu said...

If I can BE like our sensee...